Retro Comic Read Through: Team America #11

Team America #11
Cover date April 1983

It's taken them eleven issues and many misfires, but they've finally done it. With issue #11 we're finally given a Team America comic that looks both nifty and is fun to read. Unlike previous issues, especially that last one, this story couldn't be told with any other characters. It's a genuine Team America story. And it's pretty good! Shame it's only got one more issue before cancellation.

The cover shows us they've gone the guest star approach again. Which is a bit of a groan. However this time it's Ghost Rider, so at least they're keeping on theme. The blurb claims, 'At last! The most requested cycle battle of all!' Which seems to gloss over that this is also the very first cycle battle of the series. I don't think Cowboy's run around with some silly looking remote controlled faux Roman chariots really count. It might have been more honest if they had said, 'At last! A cycle battle!'

What's even more impressive is Marauder's motorbike on the cover actually looks like a motorbike. I know that shouldn't be note worthy when discussing a series about motorcyclists but sadly it's never seemed to be an editorial edict of this book that the bikes should ever be rendered either attractively or well. It's a good cover, that lets you know this is going to be an action issue.

The first page is of Wolf, tearing across the finish during an Unlimited Class Racing time trial in Oklahoma. What's nice about this is the artist has done away with the stretched out ribbon across the finish line and instead given us a fellow with a checkered flag. Though maybe the bloke really shouldn't be standing in the middle of the track.

The bike looks damn fine and quite sexy here, in fact all the bikes are rendered in a really sexy manner throughout this book. And that's because the artist inside is the same as the cover artist, Dave Simons (he who did those nice bikes back in a previous issue's Honcho's Riding Tips page). Simons art is a little rough in the line and lumpy in the composition in places, but it's filled with energy and life. He seems to be the first artist on this book to realise that if one of the only unique elements to Team America is it's motorbike racing, then you've simply got to make that look and feel as important as anyone of the main characters. He succeeds.

What's even more remarkable, is this issue is absent the inking efforts of Vince Colletta. And I don't believe it's mere coincidence that this is the first issue the book visually shines. Shooter is plotting again, with DeFalco on scripts. Shooter re-treads many elements from the first issue story, even the sillier ones. But this time he seems to get them right.

The story kicks off with a bit of dissent in the ranks (again). Wolf bragging about himself. Reddy being jealous. Honcho just getting upset that everyone just can't get along. And Wrench fuming that his girlfriend keeps finding reasons to rub herself on Cowboy.

Wolf heads off into town to celebrate his top pole position in the next day's race by himself. Y'know because Wolf is a loner. And because he's such a tough loner he decides to go to the circus, (where Ghost Rider's alter ego Johnny Blaze is performing). But first, because he's a loner, he decides he needs some company. So pulling up on his bike next to a car containing an aged couple and what looks, by the art, to be their much younger than nineteen year old daughter, he revs his engine and leers suggestively at the young girl. As the traffic lights go green, Wolf guns away with the young girl, Mary-Michelle, on the seat behind him. She's thinking, “I've never done anything remotely like this before! I don't know how I'll ever be able to face my parents again!” Asking Wolf where he's taking her, Mary-Michelle gets the reply, “To the carnival... after a while!”

When next we seem them a caption tells us it's been several hours. They're at the carnival watching Blaze's motorcycle stunt show and Mary-Michelle is dishevelled. Clothes askew, hair a mess and hanging off Wolf's arm adoringly. To all of that I can only say, oh my god! This is a Team America book? Where was this kind of strong characterising and sense of humour in the previous ten issues? If Shooter hadn't waited till this series was about to be cancelled and nobody was watching, before being adventurous with the stories, and using strong art, they might have had a hit on their hands. What a waste of a great comic book concept.

At the circus the rest of the team show up. Honcho gets immediately angry with Wolf that he has a slutty girl with him. “We're only guests in this town, Wolf! It isn't wise to get involved with the local chippies!” Wolf, wisely tells Honcho to take his disapproval (and dislike of women) and cram it.

However, maybe Honcho's warnings should have been heeded, as Mary-Michelle's parents turn out to be part-time Hydra agents. And they're spying on the team right there and then, and the father's not happy. Well would you be? It's Wolf after all! In the first of a few funny little insights, we learn what being a part-time Hydra agent entails. Mostly just monitoring government transmissions and smuggling the occasional bit of weaponary. But it earns some spending cash and you get good medical insurance benefits!

The upset Hydra parents pass along their info to the main base. Where we meet Madame Regional Director Elsie, and underling Hydra Agent Halston. Director Elsie is bringing Agent Halston up to speed on Team America, using a handy wall sized data bank she keeps hidden behind a sliding panel. On the screen is the entire team, including Georgianna for the first time. So we discover her full name, Georgianna Sue Castleberry. Which is interesting, as I wouldn't have believed they could top anything stupider than 'Georgianna'. Wolf's real name is still unknown. Which makes me think that Hydra hasn't thought to investigate just what name he's getting his prize money cheques made out to. More importantly, Director Elsie informs us that she's pretty sure she knows who Marauder really is. Which suggests she read the Team America letters pages when they were still being published.

In a continuation of the getting to know the softer, warmer side of Hydra, we discover that Director Elsie doesn't believe working for Hydra is any worse than working for an oil company. She makes $250,000 a year and supports her partially disabled hubby and two kids in comfort. You really begin to start liking this hard working Hydra lady, when the bald Supreme Hydra Commander appears on screen and says, “We have already wasted enough man-power and time on Team America! See that they are eliminated visibly and spectacularly! Hail Hydra!” Which might be a direct quote from Marvel's accountants when they saw the sales figures for this book. Though they probably left of the 'Hail Hydra!' bit... probably. So Director Elsie decides to get rid of Team America, “In my own fashion!” So you just know it's going to be extra Hydra-evil.

Back at the circus, the team meet up with Johnny Blaze and his off-sider Red. Who come to the conclusion that Team America are punks and creeps who are too full of themselves. Which they are! But admitting it within their own comic actually makes them more interesting characters. Once again, it's a shame they waited so long to bring the interesting ideas to the table. Honcho hits on Blaze and asks him to a party the next night, and Blaze feels the Ghost Rider demon within himself joining in the hating of Team America.

As the team heads off, Wolf tells the dishevelled Mary-Michelle to go away. Her reply is, “I know I'll never see you again Wolf... but that really doesn't matter! You've already opened my eyes (her eyes??) so much in such a short time! I'll do whatever you think is best!” Wolf's only response to this young girl finding the beauty of her inner-slut, is to grunt and walk away. This issue has Shooter seemingly going out of his way to make sure you can't like any of these characters. It's a strong choice to make and it works. It breaks them out of their vanilla wrappers and gives them a different dimension that at least entertains.

We then segue to late evening. It's dark around the motel Team America is lodging in, and Marauder is sneaking through the night (sorry, I mean 'stalks the night!') towards the team's campervan. He then opens a secret compartment in the van and pulls out his super black racing bike. Which really is a bit of a 'what the hell?' moment. I mean it's a campervan for god's sakes! Does anyone, would anyone, believe it possible to hide an entire motorcycle inside the same campervan as six other people were sleeping and living in? Nobody ever said, “Hey what's this giant motorcycle sized lump in the wall that's taking up a third of the available space back here?” This has to go down with the other great Marvel superhero conceits, such as Iron Man being able to fold his armour into a slim-line attaché case, and Captain America being able to hide his shield by strapping it to his back and wearing a sports coat over it.

Anyway, ignoring where Marauder was hiding his bike, he rides it out of town and into the desert. Where he's confronted by Ghost Rider, the demon biker with a flaming skull for a head. Before they can fight, however, Johnny Blaze reasserts his control and transforms back from being Ghost Rider. Telling Marauder to run away while he's able. Which he does.

Not a very spectacular meeting. Much like the Iron Man appearance. Luckily there's a bigger confrontation than this coming up in the last few pages. Which leaves me wondering why they chose to burn three pages on this non-event. Surely those pages could have been put to better use?

All of which gets us to the day of the big race. In this leg of Unlimited Class Racing we learn the outline for this race is a hundred laps in which the vehicles aren't restricted in engine size, power or levels in technology. Which would make for a wildly uneven field, a winner that was obvious from mechanical specs alone and probably a very dull race to watch. But let's be excited by it anyway. The comic characters are. Including Johnny Blaze who has come along to watch.

And wouldn't you know it, on lap ninety-six, the Ghost Rider bursts forth from Johnny and hits the track. Blowing up competitors bikes while screaming for the Marauder. Who finally makes an appearance. And while Team America continues to race, the Marauder and Ghost Rider battle it out. Finally ramming their bikes together at 350 miles per hour. Causing an explosion big enough to send a fireball shooting up into the sky.

During the confusion Team America wins the race. Woo! That's two Unlimited Class Races out of five they've won. Which was pretty much Penelope Pittstop's track average on Wacky Races, if I recall (though she didn't need a demonic biker blowing-up the competition to help get the win). With all the excitement on the track, the hundreds of Hydra agents secreted into the crowd wearing their green and yellow trimmed uniforms, burst forth with a rousing chant of “Hail Hydra”, “Death to Team America” and “Destroy the enemies of Hydra!”, which, if I'm not mistaken, is just about everybody.

Also in the crowd is Mary-Michelle's parents. They've been calling in air strikes. Mother wants to leave, but dad has other ideas and pulls a sawn-off shotgun out of his jacket and goes looking for Wolf. Which seems a little unnecessary, as the next page shows us the Hydra-evil attack taking place. And like the same plot from the first issue, it's way over the top. Along with the hundred soldiers on the ground is twenty jet-pack clad troopers, two helicopter gun ships, three aircraft fighters and three giant tanks. Sadly though, no blimps in sight. Which makes this attack still very Hydra-evil, but with no blimps isn't really Hydra-evil enough for my tastes.

Two pages follow showing the carnage on the ground as Team America fight off Hydra agents and Ghost Rider and Marauder continue exchanging blows (apparently they survived the big explosion). Shotgun wielding dad draws a bead on Wolf's back, but just as he pulls the trigger Marauder knocks him down. Allowing Ghost Rider to wallop him into unconsciousness. Seeing that Marauder only dropped his guard to save another pisses ol' Ghost Rider off no end. Who then expends his frustrations on the remaining Hydra forces. Pushing them into a full retreat.

Hydra Regional Director Elsie sees all this on her television and knows that she'll have to pay the price of death for failing to be a successful amoral, murderess Hydra agent. In a quiet panel she calls her family with a resigned look upon her face to tell them she'll never be coming home again. They do a good job of conveying the resolute misery of this little scene, and manage to elicit some sympathy for villainous Elsie.

Back at the track, things have settled down and the entire Team America confronts the prone Marauder. Who, in silhouette, unmasks himself to cries of “No! It can't be you! Not you!” However we're going going to have to wait till next issue to find out what they've seen.

The next issue blurb promises, not only the secret origin of the Marauder but the end of Team America as well! And after this very good issue I actually find myself looking forward to the final issue with regret. If they maintain the inspiration and creativity of this issue onto the next, it's going to be a sad farewell. Oh, who am I kidding? Of course they're not going to be able to do two good issues in a row. This story was a fluke. It'll be back to crap next issue and good riddance to them!

YEAH... HEY-!

Retro Comic Read Through: Team America #10

Team America #10
Cover date March 1983

The cover has all five team members riding straight at the reader in a V-wing. Either out of a fog bank or clouds of their own exhaust fumes. It's unclear. Above them is the spectral head of Marauder. With all their faces fully masked they take on a cold inhumane quality. Almost menacing, even in their bright red, white and blue garb. The cover art doesn't give any sense of the story inside, and as we open the book up we quickly discover that was a wise choice.

After just two issues of building a new theme and feel for this book, issue #10 is a fill-in story. Gone is the Cowboy/Georgianna, team dynamics and racing subplots. Gone as well is Shooter on plotting duties, which is a shame as he's got a good sense of what this book could be. Steven Grant is marked down as scripter which would suggest it was editor Tom DeFalco who plotted this slight bit of storytelling. Alan Kupperberg is back as penciller but mainstay Colletta continues the inking chores. There just seems to be no shaking the man loose from this book.

This thrilling chapter opens up with a scene of Las Vegas and a hippie posting a letter to Jim McDonald aka Honcho. You know he's a hippie because his hair's a bit shaggy and he's wearing a purple T-shirt. No sooner has he mailed his letter than he's confronted by a group of more hippies, lead by Minister Ashe. A balding man with an evil looking beard, in a fringed Daniel Boone style jerkin. With intimidation Ashe discovers who the letters going to. Then blows a cloud of dust onto the fellow which dissolves him into a pile of more dust. After killing the guy in the street, Ashe takes his hippie followers away. Why? Because, as he says, “We can't retrieve that letter now without drawing needless attention to ourselves!” Personally I would of thought that after turning a guy into a pile of dust, busting open a mail box wasn't really that much of an attention grabbing thing.

Team America are in Las Vegas for time trials of a three-wheeled bike race. I don't know if it's an Unlimited Class Race or what, because after three panels we never see or hear of it again. Once again the idea that this is a book about a team which races is ignored in favour of a useless one-shot villain of the moment story.

The team go off to gamble. Honcho wins and Cowboy is a loser. On returning to their hotel the concierge attempts to give Honcho a letter that's arrived for him, but Honcho doesn't notice. Doesn't say much for his spy skills if he can't notice a man yelling his name across a hotel lobby. Upon returning to his room Honcho finds a hippie ransacking it, for the letter. When discovered the hippie throws himself out the window and turns himself into a pile of dust.

Upon investigation on the street, Ashe and his youthful hippie cult kidnap Honcho. When he wakes up he's stripped to the waist and is stuck in wooden stocks. Then is almost eviscerated by a drugged out large breasted girl wearing just her underwear (an ironic end for Honcho!). He's saved by Ashe who wants to question him about the letter. Honcho knows nothing but we learn that the man who posted it was an old CIA colleague of Honcho's who hated him. And Ashe is a former chemist who discovered the deadly dust and decided to amass a pseudo religious murderous cult around himself.

The story then unfolds with the rest of the team (but no Wrench or Georgianna) battling their way into the cultist compound to free Honcho (but not on their bikes, or even their uniforms). Getting trapped in giant glass tubes and finally breaking themselves out. It's so immensely standard fair that theirs nothing of note in it at all. Though Ashe threatening Honcho by killing a hamster in front of him is kinda funny.

Team America is chased away by the cultists hippies and Ashe tries to destroy Las Vegas with his deadly dust in a plane but has his plans defeated by Marauder. Though Ashe does escape. The next day as the team return to their hotel. Honcho finally gets the letter that started this whole adventure when they're confronted by Ashe and his remaining hippies. Grabbing the envelope, Ashe declares that, “No one can tie my cult to its illegal activities without this letter” and tears it in half. Oh no! What a twist. Has the villain actually won? Nope. Because there's another twist on the way. The letter is filled with deadly dust and promptly kills Ashe dead! It turns out that the undercover CIA agent was trying to kill Honcho all along! Which raises the questions, do the CIA really investigate cults? And just what was Honcho's former relationship with the agent that he pissed him off so badly that he tried to kill him years later? None of this is addressed, and we'll never find out. Mostly we can be glad that the story just ends here.

No letters page or additional material again. And it's beginning to feel as if this book has been given up on by it's creators. No regular writers or pencilers. And with fill-in issues like this they're just marking time till the inevitable cancellation. Which is only two more issues away.

FEAR THE HAMSTER, HONCHO.

Retro Comic Read Through: Team America #9

Team America #9
Cover date February 1983

Sales figures for the series must of come in, because with this issue Marvel pulls out the old sales boosting gimmick – the more famous guest star! So who do you think they picked to be squaring off with the Marauder on the cover? Ghost Rider, the motorcycle riding demon of justice? No. Captain America, who shares half his name with the team and in whose book Team America made their first showing? No. They picked the golden avenger, Iron Man! It might seem an odd match-up initially but when you think about it, Iron Man had a good selling book at the time, and he was a bit mechanically focused like Team America as well. It sort of made a thematic sense.

The cover has our team rendered small, and standing around the carcass off a dismantled motorbike, writhing in an impotent rage. Even Cowboy is twirling his lasso with anger. While Iron Man and Marauder, drawn as giants, battle it out above the team unnoticed, against a backdrop of the American flag.

It's a good analogy for the story within. The team is once again pulled apart and they're useless in comprehending the forces that swirl about them. After five issues of solo stories, previous to last issue, depicting the team members as strong and capable individuals, once again this story focusses on how ineffectual they are as a group. While I'm sure the editorial thinking was the old Marvel trope of super hero/team with problems, by this point they're just coming across as incompetent and kind of embarrassingly useless. And that's a tough act to build a fan base around.

The story opens with Wrench, Georgianna, Cowboy and Honcho relaxing outside the Team America mobile home wagon. Which is parked in an abandoned lot in Brooklyn. Plot is still being churned out by Shooter with Mantlo scripting. This issue brings us pencilling by Mark Bright. An up and coming penciler at Marvel at the time, with this being his fourth assignment for them. His work's stiff but even Colletta's inks can't hide the enthusiasm he displays in this youthful effort. Especially in the dense backgrounds. Colletta was famed for eliminating background detail, so Bright must of filled in a lot of detail for all of it not to be ignored. Either that or Colletta farmed all the backgrounds off to one of his mystery assistants.

By the second page we find out with what our team of heroes are busying their time. Wrench is sticking a screwdriver into a toaster (unplugged), Reddy who wasn't drawn in the opening page is reclined on a garden chair balancing bottles on a stick, looking a little like the way the Human Torch was always drawn in backgrounds. Georgianna is doing sit-ups in the middle of the group. But Bright has really tried to give each one of these guys something individual to do. Honcho is sitting at a card table doing paperwork, and Cowboy seems to have given up his guitar for a banjo. To which I say, cool! A banjo is a way more interesting prop than the clichéd guitar.

The story progresses with Wolf turning up with the last of the team's bikes broken and a bag of take-away tacos. Bright, though new to the series seems to have picked up on Honcho's personal preferences and shows him having an awkward time eating a taco. “Hmm, good!” he says out loud in a desperate display of over compensation. The team is broke, and can't afford to build Wrench's latest goofy looking vehicle for the next Unlimited Class Race for goofy looking stupid things. Tempers are getting frayed and the redhead Reddy is deriding Wolf as a “macho wetback”. Wolf actually figures out that this is a pretty nasty insult, which is a touch surprising, and retorts with a vindictive, “pelirrojo!” Which is Spanish for 'redhead'... Wolf is kinda pathetic.

Once again the team looks like it's breaking up. They each voice their reasons for being there. Reddy, pay back his dad. Cowboy, to win. Wrench, “to prove that American technology is the best in the world!” (So he really should think about not building engines that keep blowing-up). Honcho, to use the team as a front for his “espionage activities”, however since he's only left the USA once, just what is this 'espionage' he's performing? He continues with, “But I've recently had to choose between the two... and I chose Team America!” Which just goes to show that you can't trust a spy. As last time he had the choice he left the team in the lurch to run off to be Secret Squirrel, and only returned once it turned out he was a crap spy and got beat-up.

Wolf actually shows the greatest sense of the lot and declines to enter into the conversation. So Georgianna leaps up and points out that Wolf's there because he's a loner that needs a family. Poor little wussy Wolfie, the little loner that just wants to be loved.

Despite their group hug, they still haven't any bikes to ride so all go to bed in the camper van. Then as night falls comes the Marauder. Who goes on a midnight bike tour of a completely deserted New York. Climbs the Brooklyn bridge and looks out heroicly at an awkwardly and lumpy drawn Manhattan and Statue of Liberty. Cut to the interior of the Team America camper van, which appears to be about 18 feet wide (how does it fit in traffic?). From this shot we learn that Honcho still prefers to be on the top bunk. Wolf still sleeps with his headband on, as if he's deathly afraid of letting blood make it's way up to his brain. Wrench and Georgianna never have sex as they sleep together in full view of the others. And Cowboy likes to sleep face down with his bum straight-up in the air. That one panel is probably more revealing of the characters than the whole, 'wearing their heart on their sleeves' scene.

PARTY TIME. TEAM AMERICA STYLE.

In the morning they discover Marauder's bike. The solution to their problems. They're all so happy that Georgianna rubs herself on Cowboy, and Wolf and Reddy do a go-go dance. Happiness prevails with the acquisition of the superbike. Soon they're winning all sorts of dirt bike motorcross events with the suped-up street chopper. And Bright makes the same bizarre mistake of stretching a ribbon across a finishing line of a motorbike race like an earlier issue. That's just plain lethal.

In no time they're cashed-up, have a warehouse headquarters, and have started building Wrench's new dumb looking vehicle. Reddy has a car of four easy-going women and invites Honcho along, but he's not interested (shock!). Honcho suggests to Wrench that he take Georgianna out to a show, (not everyone likes broadway musicals, Honcho!) But Georgianna has run off with Cowboy and that breaks Wrench's heart. Honcho feels sorry for Wrench and thinks, “It's no wonder Georgianna's felt neglected. Still I can't picture Cowboy cheating on him”. (Honcho, Wrench and Cowboy aren't together...) Subtext much?

Days later they're all at the latest international location of Unlimited Class Racing. This time it's hosted in Pennsylvania – apparently the globe-trotting aspect of this series is finished with after just one trip abroad. I guess all that photo reference they didn't use for the trip to Egypt broke the creative bank. Bright rather slyly doodles the Speed Racer team in the background, which is a nice touch. Wrench's example of America's ability to build the best technology is an unequalled success during the time trials. Till the engine blows-up. Again. Team America have lost yet another race. That's three races they've lost out of four. Wrench is giving American technology a bad name. Now they're out of the race and broke again. Nice one, Wrench, ya' putz.

Salvation comes in the form of Stark International, home of Iron Man. The Stark representative wants to buy Team America, and they're in the exact same position that Cowboy sleeps in, so say yes. The next day they're at Stark International gates. Georgianna isn't admitted, and Wrench is lead off separately. While the others are put through a professional racing school. Which doesn't impress Wolf. 'El Lobo does not express his reaction to the class in words... but in actions', the caption reads. The action in this instance is cracking peanuts. Oooh, peanuts! Better watch out, Wolf's on the warpath. What would he do if he was really incensed? Shell walnuts? He goes on to the simulators and can't keep from crashing, due to the fact he's not very good. So in typical Wolf fashion he tries to strangle the teacher. Wolf's a dick.

Meanwhile, Wrench is being given a tour of the R&D workshops, invents a new braking system in passing, and discovers that they've claimed Marauder's bike as their own and are stripping it down. Wrench flips out and is shown the door. Only to find the rest of the team have been kicked out as well. Now they're broke again but this time without the super bike. Team America are hapless.

That night at Stark International, Marauder breaks in to the facility to steal his bike back and sets off some alarms. I guess he's a little off his game as well. Iron Man swoops in, catching him in the act. So here it comes, the classic hero meeting hero so they have to fight. A big skirmish between Marauder and Iron Man. A slugfest of legendary proportions. Except, it doesn't happen. Instead Iron Man immediately realises Marauder's there for his own property, so gives him a hearty wave goodbye. Which actually makes this the most astounding meeting of two heroes ever written. Despite it's anti-climactic nature, I fully applaud this. Though I can't imagine it was the sales boosting gimmick that they were hoping for when they thought of it.

The next day the team return to Stark International and confront Tony Stark himself (Iron Man's secret identity). He's a nice guy, so apologises for their shabby treatment and gives them cheques to make up for wasting their time. Plus a hundred thousand dollars to Wrench, for the new breaking system he invented. And the team are cashed-up and back on the road again, heading towards their next great adventure.

Like last issue there isn't any letter column or Honcho's racing tip pages. Which is a shame. But the book is beginning to find it's feet under Shooter's plotting. As the story of a squabbling band of rag-tag, unlucky motorheads, doing their best to get by and stay together. But at issue #9 I'm wondering if maybe it's a bit too little too late.