Retro Comic Read Through: Team America #9

Team America #9
Cover date February 1983

Sales figures for the series must of come in, because with this issue Marvel pulls out the old sales boosting gimmick – the more famous guest star! So who do you think they picked to be squaring off with the Marauder on the cover? Ghost Rider, the motorcycle riding demon of justice? No. Captain America, who shares half his name with the team and in whose book Team America made their first showing? No. They picked the golden avenger, Iron Man! It might seem an odd match-up initially but when you think about it, Iron Man had a good selling book at the time, and he was a bit mechanically focused like Team America as well. It sort of made a thematic sense.

The cover has our team rendered small, and standing around the carcass off a dismantled motorbike, writhing in an impotent rage. Even Cowboy is twirling his lasso with anger. While Iron Man and Marauder, drawn as giants, battle it out above the team unnoticed, against a backdrop of the American flag.

It's a good analogy for the story within. The team is once again pulled apart and they're useless in comprehending the forces that swirl about them. After five issues of solo stories, previous to last issue, depicting the team members as strong and capable individuals, once again this story focusses on how ineffectual they are as a group. While I'm sure the editorial thinking was the old Marvel trope of super hero/team with problems, by this point they're just coming across as incompetent and kind of embarrassingly useless. And that's a tough act to build a fan base around.

The story opens with Wrench, Georgianna, Cowboy and Honcho relaxing outside the Team America mobile home wagon. Which is parked in an abandoned lot in Brooklyn. Plot is still being churned out by Shooter with Mantlo scripting. This issue brings us pencilling by Mark Bright. An up and coming penciler at Marvel at the time, with this being his fourth assignment for them. His work's stiff but even Colletta's inks can't hide the enthusiasm he displays in this youthful effort. Especially in the dense backgrounds. Colletta was famed for eliminating background detail, so Bright must of filled in a lot of detail for all of it not to be ignored. Either that or Colletta farmed all the backgrounds off to one of his mystery assistants.

By the second page we find out with what our team of heroes are busying their time. Wrench is sticking a screwdriver into a toaster (unplugged), Reddy who wasn't drawn in the opening page is reclined on a garden chair balancing bottles on a stick, looking a little like the way the Human Torch was always drawn in backgrounds. Georgianna is doing sit-ups in the middle of the group. But Bright has really tried to give each one of these guys something individual to do. Honcho is sitting at a card table doing paperwork, and Cowboy seems to have given up his guitar for a banjo. To which I say, cool! A banjo is a way more interesting prop than the clichéd guitar.

The story progresses with Wolf turning up with the last of the team's bikes broken and a bag of take-away tacos. Bright, though new to the series seems to have picked up on Honcho's personal preferences and shows him having an awkward time eating a taco. “Hmm, good!” he says out loud in a desperate display of over compensation. The team is broke, and can't afford to build Wrench's latest goofy looking vehicle for the next Unlimited Class Race for goofy looking stupid things. Tempers are getting frayed and the redhead Reddy is deriding Wolf as a “macho wetback”. Wolf actually figures out that this is a pretty nasty insult, which is a touch surprising, and retorts with a vindictive, “pelirrojo!” Which is Spanish for 'redhead'... Wolf is kinda pathetic.

Once again the team looks like it's breaking up. They each voice their reasons for being there. Reddy, pay back his dad. Cowboy, to win. Wrench, “to prove that American technology is the best in the world!” (So he really should think about not building engines that keep blowing-up). Honcho, to use the team as a front for his “espionage activities”, however since he's only left the USA once, just what is this 'espionage' he's performing? He continues with, “But I've recently had to choose between the two... and I chose Team America!” Which just goes to show that you can't trust a spy. As last time he had the choice he left the team in the lurch to run off to be Secret Squirrel, and only returned once it turned out he was a crap spy and got beat-up.

Wolf actually shows the greatest sense of the lot and declines to enter into the conversation. So Georgianna leaps up and points out that Wolf's there because he's a loner that needs a family. Poor little wussy Wolfie, the little loner that just wants to be loved.

Despite their group hug, they still haven't any bikes to ride so all go to bed in the camper van. Then as night falls comes the Marauder. Who goes on a midnight bike tour of a completely deserted New York. Climbs the Brooklyn bridge and looks out heroicly at an awkwardly and lumpy drawn Manhattan and Statue of Liberty. Cut to the interior of the Team America camper van, which appears to be about 18 feet wide (how does it fit in traffic?). From this shot we learn that Honcho still prefers to be on the top bunk. Wolf still sleeps with his headband on, as if he's deathly afraid of letting blood make it's way up to his brain. Wrench and Georgianna never have sex as they sleep together in full view of the others. And Cowboy likes to sleep face down with his bum straight-up in the air. That one panel is probably more revealing of the characters than the whole, 'wearing their heart on their sleeves' scene.

PARTY TIME. TEAM AMERICA STYLE.

In the morning they discover Marauder's bike. The solution to their problems. They're all so happy that Georgianna rubs herself on Cowboy, and Wolf and Reddy do a go-go dance. Happiness prevails with the acquisition of the superbike. Soon they're winning all sorts of dirt bike motorcross events with the suped-up street chopper. And Bright makes the same bizarre mistake of stretching a ribbon across a finishing line of a motorbike race like an earlier issue. That's just plain lethal.

In no time they're cashed-up, have a warehouse headquarters, and have started building Wrench's new dumb looking vehicle. Reddy has a car of four easy-going women and invites Honcho along, but he's not interested (shock!). Honcho suggests to Wrench that he take Georgianna out to a show, (not everyone likes broadway musicals, Honcho!) But Georgianna has run off with Cowboy and that breaks Wrench's heart. Honcho feels sorry for Wrench and thinks, “It's no wonder Georgianna's felt neglected. Still I can't picture Cowboy cheating on him”. (Honcho, Wrench and Cowboy aren't together...) Subtext much?

Days later they're all at the latest international location of Unlimited Class Racing. This time it's hosted in Pennsylvania – apparently the globe-trotting aspect of this series is finished with after just one trip abroad. I guess all that photo reference they didn't use for the trip to Egypt broke the creative bank. Bright rather slyly doodles the Speed Racer team in the background, which is a nice touch. Wrench's example of America's ability to build the best technology is an unequalled success during the time trials. Till the engine blows-up. Again. Team America have lost yet another race. That's three races they've lost out of four. Wrench is giving American technology a bad name. Now they're out of the race and broke again. Nice one, Wrench, ya' putz.

Salvation comes in the form of Stark International, home of Iron Man. The Stark representative wants to buy Team America, and they're in the exact same position that Cowboy sleeps in, so say yes. The next day they're at Stark International gates. Georgianna isn't admitted, and Wrench is lead off separately. While the others are put through a professional racing school. Which doesn't impress Wolf. 'El Lobo does not express his reaction to the class in words... but in actions', the caption reads. The action in this instance is cracking peanuts. Oooh, peanuts! Better watch out, Wolf's on the warpath. What would he do if he was really incensed? Shell walnuts? He goes on to the simulators and can't keep from crashing, due to the fact he's not very good. So in typical Wolf fashion he tries to strangle the teacher. Wolf's a dick.

Meanwhile, Wrench is being given a tour of the R&D workshops, invents a new braking system in passing, and discovers that they've claimed Marauder's bike as their own and are stripping it down. Wrench flips out and is shown the door. Only to find the rest of the team have been kicked out as well. Now they're broke again but this time without the super bike. Team America are hapless.

That night at Stark International, Marauder breaks in to the facility to steal his bike back and sets off some alarms. I guess he's a little off his game as well. Iron Man swoops in, catching him in the act. So here it comes, the classic hero meeting hero so they have to fight. A big skirmish between Marauder and Iron Man. A slugfest of legendary proportions. Except, it doesn't happen. Instead Iron Man immediately realises Marauder's there for his own property, so gives him a hearty wave goodbye. Which actually makes this the most astounding meeting of two heroes ever written. Despite it's anti-climactic nature, I fully applaud this. Though I can't imagine it was the sales boosting gimmick that they were hoping for when they thought of it.

The next day the team return to Stark International and confront Tony Stark himself (Iron Man's secret identity). He's a nice guy, so apologises for their shabby treatment and gives them cheques to make up for wasting their time. Plus a hundred thousand dollars to Wrench, for the new breaking system he invented. And the team are cashed-up and back on the road again, heading towards their next great adventure.

Like last issue there isn't any letter column or Honcho's racing tip pages. Which is a shame. But the book is beginning to find it's feet under Shooter's plotting. As the story of a squabbling band of rag-tag, unlucky motorheads, doing their best to get by and stay together. But at issue #9 I'm wondering if maybe it's a bit too little too late.