Team America #3 Cover date August 1982
The cover promises us 'This issue the mysterious Marauder battles alone!', apparently ignoring the previous two issues where Marauder battled alone. We're given a cover illustration of just the Marauder racing long with his own spectral like head looking over himself. It's all shades of grey on red, and where it's meant to look dramatic it looks muddy and a bit of a mess instead.
Issue #3 is a slight tale which only comes in at 18 pages. Bill Mantlo takes sole writing duties for what feels like a fill-in issue. Which isn't encouraging considering how early in the series this is. Luke McDonnell is on-board as penciler and Colletta (and whomever else he's using to do ghost work) is still butchering the pages with his inks.
Mantlo avoids bogging us down with too much set-up in this story 'Dial M for Mayhem'. Taking us straight to introduction of the villains of this piece and their motivations (well they don't really have any motivations, but in a story this thin having an important story element like character motivation would only be excess baggage). McDonnell has taken to channelling a poor-man's Ditko as influence in his character design here, and it only leads to softening what is already a light comedic script from Mantlo. Here's the splash page dialogue:
“Mister Magic is here, Mister Mayhem!” says the man dressed like a stage magician complete with monocle
“Mister Muscle is too!” says the character obviously based on Ditko's Ox from Spider-man, right down to the colours used on his outfit. And isn't Mister Muscle a household cleaner?
“Mister Mind has come in response to your summons, sir!” says not the classic Shazam villainous worm, but a midget with a swollen bald cranium.
“As the Mayhem Organisation knew you would, to receive your first assignment... Capture or kill – Marauder!” Says Mister Mayhem. A fellow dressed up as a yellow and orange boggled eyed clown. All polka dots and candy stripes. A fair attempt on McDonnell's part at designing a stupid looking Ditko villain. But why aren't they called the Mister Organisation? Or maybe Crap Conglomerate would be more apt.
Mayhem Organisation's motivation for going after the Marauder? It's never said. But Mister Mayhem gives us this insight into the Marauder's relationship with Team America, “I suspect that the mysterious Marauder may be one – all – or none of them!” Thanks for that, Mayhem.
Team America, unaware of this new third-rate menace that targets them, have taken a break from the international Unlimited Class racing circuit to put on an exhibition of motor-cross racing against each other. Even Wrench gets a uniform and a bike to race. Though none of them seem to be riding motor-cross dirt bikes. Three issues in and they've misplaced the international racing plot line already. Not many series fall apart as quickly as Team America does. It's one of its special charms.
In this race we're given some character moments. Cowboy likes to jump things and go “Yay-hoo!” Honcho likes to keep his bike clean of mud (why they don't just come out and say he likes Broadway musicals, I've no idea). Wolf likes to knock down trees and then ride across them to get over water hazards because he's tough. While Reddy likes to jump his bike from flat surfaces... not too dissimilar from Cowboy really. I guess they couldn't think of more personality style riding to spread out among the cast. Wrench is just glad the race is over so he can start to clean all the bikes.
There isn't much to this story. In the next panel the villains capture Team America by converting them into energy and putting them inside a large crystal. Less practical than using a Hydra-evil blimp, yet strangely more effective. The bad guys then get chased, by the Marauder, in their futuristic looking garbage truck to their secret underground lair. And the Marauder overcomes several obstacles to free them, including a giant pink cyborg with laser vision and a poor sense of balance. With each obstacle he uses an ability unique to each Team America member – riding fast like Wolf, jumping from flat surfaces like Reddy, avoiding menacing traffic cones like Honcho, sitting tall in the saddle like Cowboy, pressing a button like Wrench.
Then he comes up against all the Misters individually. There's a really nice splash page of a trippy battle with Mister Magic. It's just freaky enough to work. He overcomes him by commanding his riderless bike to run the magician over.
Mister Muscle comes at him with a giant cattle prod. The Marauder beats this Ox knock-off by, well I'm not entirely sure how, by being more resistant to electricity as far as I can tell.
For expediency, Mantlo let's Mister Mind succumb to the same electric shock as Muscle. Because he was monitoring the situation by video camera and Mantlo really doesn't want to be writing this story, so that's how video cameras work now. The captions tell us that the villains lair is plunged into darkness, which is a good thing as it's not reflected at all in the art. So when the freed Team America face off against Mister Mayhem it seems odd that he keeps complaining he can't see them. Wolf punches him once and it's all over. Team America ride off leaving their kidnappers lying unconscious in the secret lair. Commenting that since none of them were particularly aware of anything while locked in that energy crystal that the Marauder could still be anyone of them (...or all of them... all none of them! Thank you, Mister Mayhem).
Damn this was a stupid issue. And I'm using 'stupid' in comparison to other Team America issues! This issue feels like Marvel giving up entirely on the series. Just Mantlo's belief that he didn't need to give motivation to the villains points to people just no longer even pretending to care about this book.
Filling out the remaining pages are two Marvel Masterwork Pin-Ups of Wolf and Reddy. Wolf is running down unshaven men wearing suits. And Reddy is jumping a hatchback filled with gun totting criminals who say things like, “He's got more moves than the Harlem Globe-Trotters!” Presumably because no one bothered to tell the editors that it was 1982 and that fad was over. Each pin-up comes with some 'Hydra Classified File' titbits on the character.
Wolf's real name is unknown. Also “random comments suggest that he was an orphan, and never knew the warmth and security of a family”... aww, poor widdle Woofie! He's also described as a loner. And just like Wolverine, whom he's so obviously modelled on, Wolf is a loner in the classic Marvel-sense of the word: by loner they mean someone who is a member of a team.
Reddy's file tells us he's stupid and possibly mentally unstable. Wow, those Hydra factoid writers can just be plain mean at times!
This issue sees the first letters page. And it's filled with praise for the book! We also discover that Frank Miller came up with the cover design for issue #1 as well as designing Team America's grotesque outfits. Way to go Miller! It's strange how you don't hear people talk about this when discussing his earlier work like Daredevil and Ronin...
Rudy Nino of Patterson, CA, writes: “I think I've got a hunch who the Marauder is. He's all three of the members of Team America put together...” But according to the editor, nope.
James B. Barnes of Lexington, Kentucky, worries “Judging by your first issue, it's going to be very hard to keep this high level of quality going”. Well I'd have to agree with James that the quality of the book has already dropped.
Paul Entrekin of Lumberton, MS, pontificates: “I don't know if biking is going to hold reader's interest as the backdrop for Team America...” Obviously he didn't think about dune buggies! But his opinion seem to mirror editor Tom DeFalco's view of this series.
The famous 80s letter writer, T.M. Maple gets a few words in: “Team America certainly has the possibility to be in a class by itself, as far as subject matter goes, at least” That qualifier gets me thinking that ol' T.M. was taking a very subtle dig at the book. Way to go, T.M.!
There are a couple of requests for a Ghost Rider team-up, y'know... because he rides a bike and Team America rides bikes. And some people write-in to say how much they love the book, because they're either lying sycophants or retarded sycophants.
Brian Orlowski of Budd Lake, NJ, has a request: “I'd like to see more of Hydra in upcoming issues”. In a rather ominous response the editor responds with a curt, “You will, Brian”. Oh boy! More Hydra! Just what this book needs. But I guess, it's a bit better than having any more Mister Mayhem and his wacky crew.
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